It f*cking happened.
Man, I have no idea how, but it happened.
I F*CKING BAILED ON MY BIKE.
Bails can be fun and safe as my man Skam will tell you, but I also wished that I had bailed on some grass like he did. Nope. Ossington, next to Levack Block. And I should have been home too, but we decided to hit this spot after Beacs. Ahhhh...
"Things were all good just a week ago..." - Jay-Z
That's what it pretty much felt like. Lemme cut to the chase:
Was pulling some skids with my mans O and jay, and for some reason unknown to me, I bailed after a full day of riding with no issues. And now...
There ya go...
These shots were taken after my relatively placid ride home in cab.
So now, Part Deux:
As I walked around in total shock and awe @ what happened, spitting a steady stream of blood (if you walk any where behind Levack, you'll see. It was like someone got stabbed), holding parts of my mouth in my hands, I was convinced by both O and Jay W to just chill and compose my thoughts for a min - after I wiped my bloodied jaw.
So I decided to pull up on a stoop and just wipe my mouth down. Shouts to that girl who was a 1st responder to the scene and who also was quick to offer me some fresh bottles of water to wipe my face down.
So as I listened to the options being offered by my two compadres, I just sat there , head tilted back looking @ the deep navy sky still in complete astonishment.
... clik, clak...
??!?! HUH?? What was that sound?? I turn my head and what do I see...
THIS MOTHERF*CKER GOT ON MY BIKE AND F*CKING TOOK OFF!
Adding insult to unsupportable pain, suffering and clear disfigurement, I was suddenly becoming a victim of wrongdoing and injustice by a f*cking vermin!
I just sat there unable to really utter much outside of "SH*T! My Bike!"
Possibly not realizing that he had bestrode and saddled a fixie, the thief took a few minutes to gain speed - precious time that was used to close the gap as cats chased after him. As my man O and Jay sprinted and were in persuit, this parasite made one brutal error: He headed north on Ossington.
Ossington is an essentially a hill, and you can't really gain that much speed on a fixie - esp if you're not accustomed to one. So, although I did not see much of this part, faced with the very definite and crystal clear reality that he was going to get caught as he struggled to gain speed, he decided to relinquish my bike and make a getaway on foot. My man O maintained the chase but may have been winded from the initial sprint.
What a f*cking night.
So wheres does this leave me @ present instant?
- A jaw and mouth so busted that i'm scared to sleep on it tonight. In fact, I can't close it properly.
- A wrist's that's hella sore.
- Have you seen the gash in my lip?? Inside and out. And the outside one won't stop bleeding now....
- But I still have my bike. ;)
Man... all was going so well.
On top of all that, I was due to host the Wonder-FULL party tonight. WTF??! Well, as of right now, count me out. To all who were looking for tix from me, I'll do my best but I hope you know where I live.
You know I kept the worst for last: Your man has been working @ a small indie company and is void of ANY BENEFITS or coverage of any form or fashion.
Whatever has to be done to my jaw and mouth will be banana$. I was pretty much in financial stupor, standing outside as I thought of what this was going to co$t me... Man...
Well, I saw this dude similarly run this on CNN 1nce, so I will partake in a like drive.
Feel free to holla @ your man, with kind words, gifts or even a donation if you'd like. I have no expectations but I love surprises. ;)
You can use the email@example.com as a recipient email addie.
I call this the Pretty Hizzy Foundation - cuz I am so f*cked up right now. I could not even consider myself quasimoto as there's nothing quasi about it. This is full on disfigurement. Plans are to remain @ home, leaving only to see a Doc in the AM - which should hopefully be 4hrs from now.
Anyhow, in closing - I just wanna shout both O and Jay for sitting around with me as I complained and contemplated jumping into my car just to drive to see the only dentist I have known all my life - 4hrs away though. Really appreciate the kindness fellas. Shouts that 1st responder who came thru with the bottled water. I will not forget you.
FIRE AND BRIMSTONE on that fool who tried to swipe my bike. I swear....
Anyhow.... not sure what the day will hold for me.
You know I couldn't leave you w/o a treat?? My man PUDGE basically said it best... Listen to the whole 1.06 and you'l see what I mean.